So yeah, umm...

Well we didn't have intercourse.


That's one thing to proud about. haha. But we did do almost eveything else. Maybe I should have known what was going to happen when I went over there. Maybe I did know without really recognizing that I knew. He said that he was feeling "frisky" and that if the situation was different he'd definitely would have wanted to have intercourse. But the situation wasn't different and we didn't have intercourse. What we did do doesn't really matter, and really isn't the reason I'm writing this.


I'm writing this because I'm somehow okay with the "arrangement" that we have. I did a google search yesterday for "friends with benefits". I'm not sure what I was expecting to find, but I did stumble upon a study that said that the arrangement is one that is common among college students and recent college graduates. The study also said the the majority of the college students surveyed said that they had had such an arrangement at some time during their college career. The findings that were the most interesting to me were:


"One-tenth of these relationships went on to become full-scale romances, the study found. About a third stopped the sex and remained friends, and one in four eventually broke it off — the sex and the friendship. The rest continued as friends-with-benefits relationships."


I'm not for sure where we would fall in those statistics, but if I had to guess, I'd say that we we'll continue with our arrangement. I know I want another session and I don't think I'll get staunch resistance from him. Haha.


But the thing that is most surprising to me about all of this (and I did share this with him) is that I'm not trippin. I'm not getting all remorseful or even more attached to him. I've stopped trying to be more attached because it's just not there and I thank God for that.


I want to tell my brother. I followed his instructions. He told me not to have sex with the guy. And I didn't, in the way that he meant it. He also told me to have fun, that I did. Haha. The other cool thing was that I learned more about how my body reacts when sexually aroused. I shake. Even without the direct clitoral stimulation, I was aroused enough to shake the way I do with direct stimulation. Quite interesting.

I'm looking forward to cunnilingus next time. :-)